Wish there was more good to report...

Since my last post things have been pretty miserable. I was feeling pretty great the first almost week of the 2nd surgery then BLAH!!! It started with me falling. Our bed is pretty high up so Joe put a step stool on the side so I could use that during recovery. I went to get into bed on Wednesday night and when I lifted 1 leg into bed I was evidently too far over on the stool. It tipped and caused me to tip right into the side table. I screamed, Joe ran, and it sucked! I called the surgeon the next day and they said just keep an eye on everything. Things seemed okay until I had my post-op appointment on Monday. Several of the incisions were infected and so they put me on some pretty strong antibiotics and a special wash to use on the area. They had me come back on Friday morning to check the incisions. The result was being sent straight to the ER. The surgeon did NOT like that my incisions looked worse not better. I went to the new hospital by our home and was taken back immediately(score!!!) but ended up being there for 6 hours. They talked about admitting me but in the end I got to come home...YAY!!!!!!! They found quite a few things that they didn't like but nothing too major. The thing that ticked me off was that they found a cyst on my right ovary. We JUST cleaned out all that stuff 1.5 months ago when they did the first surgery so I am NOT happy with my body already having another cyst. Hopefully, it isn't a big deal and will just go away on its own though. I have a copy of the CT scan from the ER and will be taking it to our infertility doctor to evaluate. So my body is sucking as usual and we are praying it gets better!!!

In other news we have family(my side) from around the country in town at my parent's house this weekend. We went over today(me being sentenced to a chair/couch because I am on strict bedrest) and had a great time! TJ loved swimming with his cousins, aunt, grandpa, and uncles! He wore his new life jacket for the first time and within 10 minutes was swimming by himself and jumping in! I thought it would take him awhile to figure out how to stay upright with the life jacket but oh no! He is way too clever for us and had it ALL figured out. He has NO fear which makes mommy have LOTS of fears! My dad did fried walleye from Minnesota(YUM!!!!!!!!!!!) which made for a great meal! Joe and TJ loved it which is great since Joe doesn't really like ANY seafood. It was just an all around great evening with family! I must add that my cousin told me(1 of the first to know!) that she is pregnant with their second and we couldn't be more excited for them! They will be leaving for Argentina(for 18 mo) next June and wanted to get pregnant and have the baby several months before moving. They had a window of when it could happen and it did! Experiencing infertility makes you long for NO one else to experience it. I am SO SO SO happy that they have had the good fortune to get pregnant both times easily. Their baby boy is precious and another one will just add to their cute little family. Congrats to my cousin and her hubs!!!

1 year mark, 30 birthday, 2nd surgery...ALL complete!

So first the FUN stuff! We met TJ at a Memorial Day party in 2010 and our lives haven't been the same since! The baby boy(18 mo at the time) that we met is now an energenic, smart, silly 2.5 yo that keeps us laughing and on our toes. I am not sure how we even lived before him. People always say do you remember life before your newborn and while TJ wasn't a newborn we still can't imagine our lives before him. We went back to Lubbock, TX to the same home we met him in. There was a Memorial Day/Celebration of TJ party in which people came together to celebrate all that will forever be remembered on that day. Not only will we ALWAYS remember those that have served us but we will also ALWAYS remember the first time we met our son! It was a great day and while we were missing a few vital people(my SIL and BIL) they will always be remembered as being there that first day!

A week later we celebrated my 30 birthday(6/4). Again, it is a momentous day because that is the day we officially brought TJ home with us for good! We picked him up that Friday last year and when we went to drop him off that Sunday we met his birth parent's who assured us we could turn right back around and they would sign the paperwork needed for us to have him in our care full time. The feelings of heading to drop him off and the feelings of leaving with him will NEVER leave me! Tears were shed on both rides but for completely different reasons. Tears of sadness because we weren't positive when/if we would see this little man who had stolen our hearts ever again and then tears of joy that we could possibly be headed home with OUR son!!!!! Crazy how a few hours can change your life. Last year we spent my birthday in Lubbock picking TJ up and then going out to dinner with some friends. This year we spent my birthday with my parent's and Bailey. We went to my favorite restaurant, Yard House. We had a great time and it was my parent's first time eating there and they seemed to enjoy it as well. We had 2 onion ring towers, truffle fries(first time and NOT the last as they were AMAZING!!!!), and then our meals. I had a wonderful piece of porcini crusted halibut over parmesan mashed potatoes with a porcini cream sauce and white truffle oil with asparagus and bok choy. It was the first time I tried it and again it will not be the last time! Afterwards we parted ways with my parent's and Bailey. On the way down we noticed that the horse track by our home was having a country concert. It was A Day In Country with quite a few singers. We went home after our late lunch, changed, and headed over there. We got to see several good artists such as Little Big Town and Leann Rimes(good singer, bad human!?!?!) among others. It was such a nice birthday and seriously not a depressing big 3-0 kind of day at all!!!! I couldn't be more blessed! Again though, we were missing some much loved family members!

My 2nd surgery was not scheduled until 6/22 but I got a call a week ago today that it had been moved up to 6/9. WHOA what?!?!? There were several surgeons and since they had to coordinate all their schedules that is why it was so far out so to get that call was a bit shocking. We immediately changed our plans to accomodate. My mom had TJ yesterday and today. Then, after Joe finished with work this afternoon he headed to Dallas with TJ. They are hanging out there tonight with some friends and then they will meet with his mom and step-dad tomorrow. They will be taking TJ for the whole week so I can fully recover from this procedure. Unfortunately, this surgery is not as easy as the last one. I have 5 incisions that are between 1-2 inches long and need more time to recover. I cannot lift anything over 15 lbs for the next 4-6 weeks. When I showed my mom the incisions today I think her jaw almost hit the floor because of how nasty the site looks. I have been feeling pretty good considering but am obviously a bit sore. I am trying to move around as much as possible so I don't get super stiff and I know that they always say the more active you are the faster you will recover. Here's hoping that is true! For now though I will be doing what I need to recover fully so that when my baby comes home I am ready for his energy!!! It is going to be a LONG week without him!

So in closing if you had asked me a year ago where we would be on my 30th birthday I would have NEVER imagined we would be parent's to the beautiful boy we met that Memorial Day but we ARE!!!!! God is good!

Not sure...

what to blog about! I just know that I haven't blogged in a little while and I should post something. Hhhhmmmm I guess I will just talk about random things going on with us. We are QUICKLY approaching the 1 year mark of meeting TJ which is CRAZY!!!! We met him last year during a Memorial Day party so this next weekend is a year. SO much has changed in a year obviously! WE HAVE A SON!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it?!?!? Last year at this time we had NO idea that our son even existed and now well now he is our whole world! I could go on and on about this past year but let's face it it would end up being a novel so I will spare you all. For now anyway...after next weekend there will be a million pictures and stories!

Bailey is almost done with school for the year and so we have a few fun things planned for the summer. We are trying to plan a trip with us, my parent's, and Bailey to my dad's hometown which is ALWAYS a great time!!! Bailey is beyond excited and so am I! They live on a lake in a SMALL Minnesota town so it is just relaxing to be there.

As for Joe he is busy with work as always but we find time for fun and family nonetheless! Thank goodness his company likes their employees to have a good work life balance!!!! We try to spend 1 on 1 time with each kiddo whenever possible. Even if it means Joe taking Bailey to the DQ drive-thru alone or him taking TJ to the grocery store or me taking Bailey to get a cupcake at the bakery. I now realize balance isn't always easy in life especially when it comes to the kiddos because you NEVER want anyone to feel like 1 has more then the other.

As for me well I had my surgery. It went well and I am healing. What didn't go well?!?!? While they were in there they found 2 huge hernia's. One on each side of my stomach. They have no clue how/when they formed as 2 years ago when I had surgery with the same obgyn surgeon they were NOT there. There are a few ideas but nothing concrete. The bottomline is they have both perforated my ab muscles(yes, they are there somewhere!) and I need a 2nd surgery. The first thing I said to Joe in recovery was, "how did it go?". His answer plain and simple, "You need a 2nd surgery for 2 huge hernia's.". NOT the way to come out of surgery. :o( Such is life though and I can't control this at all. They wanted to do it this coming week...ASAP basically. However, we have a VERY important anniversary to celebrate next weekend(the 1 year) so I am waiting until the following week.

That is a little bit about what is going on these days at our house. I guess I had a lot more going on then I originally thought!!! I totally could have made each update into it's own titled post. The great thing is that all in all we are doing great and I can't complain too much. Yes, even with 2 surgeries in this post!!!

Check list much?!?!

So with this upcoming surgery I am trying to get as much done as possible so that I can just recover and not worry. I also want Joe, my parent's, and neighbors(yes, we have GREAT ones!) to feel like they can walk in and just focus on TJ and nothing else. I have made a huge check list of what I want done and it is getting smaller...phew!

Today I did a HUGE grocery shopping trip so that we are fully stocked. Joe and I cleaned a bit this weekend and I did more today. I also cut up a ton of the fruit that I bought and put them in individual serving size containers so that anyone can just take 1 out and give it to TJ as a snack or for breakfast with yogurt/cereal/bagels. It gives me something to take my mind off the second half of this week and prepares for the help that we will have. I know that everyone coming into our home is perfectly capable of doing things like cutting fruit or making meals but it just makes it that much easier on everyone. Tomorrow I will be doing the laundry that we have, running a few more errands, and making a few phone calls. I also have a few things to keep TJ busy with others like puzzles, books, and toys that are all new so he will be excited to have them.

I just keep thinking of all the little things that will make life easier and hopefully they will all get done. I really hope that all the preparation helps out anyone that is ready and willing to help care for TJ and I.

Any suggestions on what you might do to prepare? It isn't a super invasive procedure and I should be feeling better by the weekend but I won't be able to really care for TJ on my own for about a week.

Ups and Downs

Today...well gosh there isn't much to say. All I can say is WOW!!!!!!!!!! I am a mommy for the first time! Yes, I have been there for Bailey through and through but when it comes down to it I am not her mommy. :o( This past year I have been given the biggest blessing though and have become the mommy to a WONDERFUL, CUTE, SMART little man! I couldn't be more honored to be his mommy! He has brought our lives so much joy and laughter. I canNOT imagine my life without him at this point. It would feel empty and would just make me sad. He is a 2.5 yo boy and I have moments of OMG why can't he just listen but overall it is pure bliss!!! I wouldn't change it for the world! He really is what I live for and what I wake-up for. One year ago I was very sad as we were approaching the 1 year mark of our miscarriage and the surgery because of it that put me in the hospital for 3 nights/4 days. NOT cool...this year I had the most AMAZING day!!!! We hung-out as a family and I never even left the house. Joe let me sleep in and I awoke to 2 handsome boys saying that they love me and are happy that I am the mommy! Doesn't get much better! We spent the day just enjoying each other.

The down is that infertility once again has played a major role in our lives this month. Poor TJ see's me getting ready and Grandma/Bailey pulling up and immediately says, "Mommy has to go to the doctor". THAT IS SAD!!!! Going to the infertility doctor everyday or every other day is NOT normal! Unfortunately, it is normal for us. We had such a hopeful experience in the beginning of this cycle and really thought this cycle would end with a sibling for TJ. It was not in the cards evidently. After such hope came despair. Things didn't go well and bottomline is I am once again going to have surgery on Wednesday morning. The doctors are hopeful that we can go it alone for the next 3 cycles and *hopefully* will be pregnant in the end. This is a hard pill to swallow. After almost 4 years of trying to get pregnant it is hard to believe it will actually happen. We remain hopeful though and WILL add to our family somehow! We will not let infertility beat us and if it leads us down the adoption path we WILL certainly accept that. We DID get our AMAZING son this way so why not build our whole family that way!?!?!?! I pray that I can experience pregnancy but in the end we just want a family! Who cares how we get that family? NO ONE!!!! A family IS a family no matter how it is built.

So on this Mother's Day I will be thankful for what we do have(a gorgeous son) and pray that God blesses us again no matter what form it is. It is 11:11 and my wish is just for more children to add to our family.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!!!

Doing well ourselves but prayers for friends are NEEDED!

Not much going on other then trips to the RE's(reproductive experts) office and Easter weekend. Things are going well with pretty much everything at this point! We are blessed and hope that everyone else can be blessed on this special weekend! I will ask for lots of prayers though as we have many friends that REALLY need them right now.

Excited, nervous, happy, anxious!!!

It is late but I am not a sleep because I have a million scenerios running through my head! We got good news regarding our infertility treatments and while we haven't had the actual procedure yet things are looking great! We are praying that the results we got today will lead to a full-term pregnancy. Since we had less success 2 years ago when we did the same procedure we are excited! By success I mean we have more follicles(eggs) this time then the last time and we DID get pregnant then we just didn't stay pregnant. :o( It is okay though as we now have our precious little man who we might not otherwise have if we had stayed pregnant. We have 4 times the follicles that we did 2 years ago so we are staying hopefull that since we had 2 last time and got pregnant that with 4x that we WILL be successful! My title for this post gives you a glimpse of the feelings that are going on right now. I really wasn't expecting to have that many great follicles and man are we excited! Such a nice surprise!!! BTW we are doing this IUI almost exactly 2 years to the day of our last IUI in which we did get pregnant. Isn't that strange?!?!? I think God knew at the time that there was a little boy that would need us just as much as we needed him. I can't even imagine what life would be like without TJ and as odd as it sounds I am thankful to God that we didn't stay pregnant 2 years ago. I LOVE TJ MORE THEN LIFE ITSELF!!!! I am hoping that since we are doing this almost 2 years to date from our last IUI that it is a sign from God that this is the right time! Rollercoaster ride has officially begun!