Not sure...

what to blog about! I just know that I haven't blogged in a little while and I should post something. Hhhhmmmm I guess I will just talk about random things going on with us. We are QUICKLY approaching the 1 year mark of meeting TJ which is CRAZY!!!! We met him last year during a Memorial Day party so this next weekend is a year. SO much has changed in a year obviously! WE HAVE A SON!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it?!?!? Last year at this time we had NO idea that our son even existed and now well now he is our whole world! I could go on and on about this past year but let's face it it would end up being a novel so I will spare you all. For now anyway...after next weekend there will be a million pictures and stories!

Bailey is almost done with school for the year and so we have a few fun things planned for the summer. We are trying to plan a trip with us, my parent's, and Bailey to my dad's hometown which is ALWAYS a great time!!! Bailey is beyond excited and so am I! They live on a lake in a SMALL Minnesota town so it is just relaxing to be there.

As for Joe he is busy with work as always but we find time for fun and family nonetheless! Thank goodness his company likes their employees to have a good work life balance!!!! We try to spend 1 on 1 time with each kiddo whenever possible. Even if it means Joe taking Bailey to the DQ drive-thru alone or him taking TJ to the grocery store or me taking Bailey to get a cupcake at the bakery. I now realize balance isn't always easy in life especially when it comes to the kiddos because you NEVER want anyone to feel like 1 has more then the other.

As for me well I had my surgery. It went well and I am healing. What didn't go well?!?!? While they were in there they found 2 huge hernia's. One on each side of my stomach. They have no clue how/when they formed as 2 years ago when I had surgery with the same obgyn surgeon they were NOT there. There are a few ideas but nothing concrete. The bottomline is they have both perforated my ab muscles(yes, they are there somewhere!) and I need a 2nd surgery. The first thing I said to Joe in recovery was, "how did it go?". His answer plain and simple, "You need a 2nd surgery for 2 huge hernia's.". NOT the way to come out of surgery. :o( Such is life though and I can't control this at all. They wanted to do it this coming week...ASAP basically. However, we have a VERY important anniversary to celebrate next weekend(the 1 year) so I am waiting until the following week.

That is a little bit about what is going on these days at our house. I guess I had a lot more going on then I originally thought!!! I totally could have made each update into it's own titled post. The great thing is that all in all we are doing great and I can't complain too much. Yes, even with 2 surgeries in this post!!!

Check list much?!?!

So with this upcoming surgery I am trying to get as much done as possible so that I can just recover and not worry. I also want Joe, my parent's, and neighbors(yes, we have GREAT ones!) to feel like they can walk in and just focus on TJ and nothing else. I have made a huge check list of what I want done and it is getting smaller...phew!

Today I did a HUGE grocery shopping trip so that we are fully stocked. Joe and I cleaned a bit this weekend and I did more today. I also cut up a ton of the fruit that I bought and put them in individual serving size containers so that anyone can just take 1 out and give it to TJ as a snack or for breakfast with yogurt/cereal/bagels. It gives me something to take my mind off the second half of this week and prepares for the help that we will have. I know that everyone coming into our home is perfectly capable of doing things like cutting fruit or making meals but it just makes it that much easier on everyone. Tomorrow I will be doing the laundry that we have, running a few more errands, and making a few phone calls. I also have a few things to keep TJ busy with others like puzzles, books, and toys that are all new so he will be excited to have them.

I just keep thinking of all the little things that will make life easier and hopefully they will all get done. I really hope that all the preparation helps out anyone that is ready and willing to help care for TJ and I.

Any suggestions on what you might do to prepare? It isn't a super invasive procedure and I should be feeling better by the weekend but I won't be able to really care for TJ on my own for about a week.

Ups and Downs

Today...well gosh there isn't much to say. All I can say is WOW!!!!!!!!!! I am a mommy for the first time! Yes, I have been there for Bailey through and through but when it comes down to it I am not her mommy. :o( This past year I have been given the biggest blessing though and have become the mommy to a WONDERFUL, CUTE, SMART little man! I couldn't be more honored to be his mommy! He has brought our lives so much joy and laughter. I canNOT imagine my life without him at this point. It would feel empty and would just make me sad. He is a 2.5 yo boy and I have moments of OMG why can't he just listen but overall it is pure bliss!!! I wouldn't change it for the world! He really is what I live for and what I wake-up for. One year ago I was very sad as we were approaching the 1 year mark of our miscarriage and the surgery because of it that put me in the hospital for 3 nights/4 days. NOT cool...this year I had the most AMAZING day!!!! We hung-out as a family and I never even left the house. Joe let me sleep in and I awoke to 2 handsome boys saying that they love me and are happy that I am the mommy! Doesn't get much better! We spent the day just enjoying each other.

The down is that infertility once again has played a major role in our lives this month. Poor TJ see's me getting ready and Grandma/Bailey pulling up and immediately says, "Mommy has to go to the doctor". THAT IS SAD!!!! Going to the infertility doctor everyday or every other day is NOT normal! Unfortunately, it is normal for us. We had such a hopeful experience in the beginning of this cycle and really thought this cycle would end with a sibling for TJ. It was not in the cards evidently. After such hope came despair. Things didn't go well and bottomline is I am once again going to have surgery on Wednesday morning. The doctors are hopeful that we can go it alone for the next 3 cycles and *hopefully* will be pregnant in the end. This is a hard pill to swallow. After almost 4 years of trying to get pregnant it is hard to believe it will actually happen. We remain hopeful though and WILL add to our family somehow! We will not let infertility beat us and if it leads us down the adoption path we WILL certainly accept that. We DID get our AMAZING son this way so why not build our whole family that way!?!?!?! I pray that I can experience pregnancy but in the end we just want a family! Who cares how we get that family? NO ONE!!!! A family IS a family no matter how it is built.

So on this Mother's Day I will be thankful for what we do have(a gorgeous son) and pray that God blesses us again no matter what form it is. It is 11:11 and my wish is just for more children to add to our family.

Happy Mother's Day everyone!!!